24-year-old demands divorce from husband after they take custody of his 12-year-old and 10-year-old siblings after their parents' passing: 'I know I will be resentful if I force myself into this'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 4, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Traditional wedding vows are crystal clear in what is expected from a spouse when they make the ultimate relationship commitment. Long story short, there are several pretty explicit statements that you should stick with your partner no matter how tough times get. Many would argue that the whole point of marriage is the expectation of responsibility to your husband or wife, and that is a big part of the reason it is still considered a major adult milestone.

However, as the divorce rates show, things often don't work out that way. A great number of people come to realize that their marriage was the wrong decision for them for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes, the pressure that it is supposed to survive only reveals downsides in the relationship dynamic that cannot be overcome. It can be hard not to feel like a failure, even if the reasons behind a breakup are legitimate. Sometimes, it's just a bad situation for everybody involved.

AITAH for wanting simple divorce because I am not ready to take my husband's orphan siblings?

This is something that one woman found herself struggling with after unexpected, tragic circumstances placed her in a role in her marriage that she couldn't cope with. Her husband had two younger preteen siblings who were orphaned after their parents passed in an accident, meaning that the young couple had to take them in. 

Feeling like she could not commit to the responsibility, and that this new family situation did not represent what she expected from the relationship, she decided to move out of the house and initiate the divorce. Many in her immediate circle were calling her selfish, and she wanted a second opinion.

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    Cheezburger Image 10489720064
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    'My husband took his siblings in, and I respect him for that'

    I am 24f and my husband 24, both met at our university, when we both were 18. Got married at age of 21. I run a bridal store and he runs a hardware shop. My husband has two siblings who are 12 and 10, as his parents struggled fertility issues for decade and then had two children later. His parents di d two months back in accident. And left a house but not much money, due to bad investments.
    via BrokenDreams147
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    My husband took his siblings in and I respect him for that. But it isn't something that i signed up for at such young age. Our whole budget has gone to toss and he will be responsible for their education and other things in future. Yes we both earn well. But still expensive foreign trips, my high end lifestyle and other things need money
    via BrokenDreams147
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    'I realized it won't be something I want at this point'

    Our own plan was to have five years of marriage and plan child around age of 27. I realized it won't be something i want at this point with too much household work and two kids to care for. I asked for divorce. And has moved out There are not much assets as we were saving for a house. And I will grant him an easy divorce. I love him, but I am selfish and at 24. I don't want to do all this. I want to travel and live my life. It hurts, but this isn't something I want.
    via BrokenDreams147
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    I have moved out and he is asking me to solve this. I can't ask him to give away his siblings to other relatives or social care. I am not that horrible person. But I also don't want to be responsible for them. My parents and siblings are saying that hardships are part of life and i should give my marriage a chance. I don't know. I know I will be very resentful if I force myself into this.
    via BrokenDreams147
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    Edit. Need to add. People are talking about my vows with him. My vows and commitment was or is with him. If he was in some accident and had lost his limbs. I would've taken care of him. Because I committed to him. So please stop trying to put the equivalence with me not taking responsibility for his siblings. I wasn't committed to his family. I was committed to him only. I am 24. Not ready to roleplay a mother role at this age. Edit. I am depr_sed with all ytas but it's ok. That s your opinion.
    via BrokenDreams147
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    Cheezburger Image 10489720320
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters were split between condemning and sympathizing with the soon-to-be ex-wife.

    Becalmandkind Bottom line is that this is your life and your choice to make. Whether or not you're an AH for making it doesn't matter. You will need to live with your decision whichever way you go and whatever anyone else thinks of your decision.
    via Becalmandkind
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    throwthroowaway It is none of their fault. It is just life. She didn't sign up for this and neither did he. The kids are innocent and so are the adults. It is actually brave for op to move out now than leave than later. Someone pretend they are okay and stay.
    via throwthroowaway
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    Rough-Cucumber8285 Yup, and i don't judge her for wanting to remove herself from this situation. There are many questions here and while we are hearing it from one side, we can only take her word re: the facts of the case. 24 is rather young to have to take on teenage children. They can be difficult to deal with. One has to be quite compassionate to take on the care and well being of others. I feel bad for the husband as he now has to care for his siblings but he also can't expect his wife to do
    via Rough-Cucumber8285
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    Wingbow7 Better to be honest now no matter how much it hurts. If you stay the resentment would only grow. People will always judge you but they aren't you or in the situation you find yourself.
    via Wingbow7
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    Ready Willingness_82 This is one of those tragic, unexpected situations that move the goal posts. There's nothing that either of you can do. Neither of you are wrong. Your husband MUST assume the care of, and responsibility for, his siblings, no two ways about it. If you can't take those kids on, you MUST walk away now and leave him to do what he needs to do. You are not right for each other, and the one silver lining to this cloud is that you've realised that while you're both still so young an
    via Ready_Willingness_82
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    DistributionDue4863 NAH. You're being honest about what you want, and forcing yourself into a life you don't want would only lead to resentment. Your husband didn't choose this situation either, but he's stepping up for his siblings because they need him. It's heartbreaking, but it's better to leave now than stay and make everyone miserable. That said, your timing might feel incredibly cold to your husband. He just lost his parents and now his wife is leaving too. While you have every right to p
    via DistributionDue4863
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    ARTiger20 NAH. You're doing the most responsible thing you can. The moment those kids were depending on their brother was the moment that everything became about their well being. Children who aren't wanted by one parental figure grow up to have issues because of it. No one gets a chance to be happy in that situation. You are doing what is best for them by leaving sooner rather than later. It's going to sk for a while for all parties involved, but you're right, ultimately it is the best option.
    via ARTiger20
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    crosswendy Help me with some math... You met at University at 18, married at 21 but are both "running" stores now? That seems an awful quick turnaround from graduating university to managing an establishment. When did you both graduate and what were your majors? The parents did two months ago and left a house but you are also saving for a house and having these two children in your household for two months has put off your budget badly. But also you reference needing expensive foreign trips and
    via crosswendy
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    HelenAngel NAH Sometimes lives change & people are no longer compatible. That's what happened here. Go your separate ways & live your lives.
    via HelenAngel
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    dirtygrandmagertrude I think it takes more strength and emotional maturity to realize it isn't something you want, or can handle, and that you will resent it. You obviously love your husband, but don't want to resent him, or lead him on. Good on you for not pressuring him to give up the kids either. NTA. I was in foster care, and its better for him to find a partner who matches his values and will be good to the kids, than to sully your relationship. I don't think anyone is TA, its just a sad si
    via dirtygrandmagertrude
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    Icy-Fondant-3365 Nobody can say how someone else should feel in that kind of situation. Your husband is an amazing brother and is likely devastated that you aren't able to love those kids the way he does. But if you can't see yourself being a kind and supportive parent to 2 half grown kids that need a mom, then it wouldn't be fair to them for you to just put up with them in your home. Being a mother is about extreme sacrifice, and it's a lifelong commitment. If you know you are not willing make
    via Icy-Fondant-3365
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    Skyblue8596 "If he was in some accident and had lost his limbs. I would've taken care of him." I doubt that.
    via Skyblue8596
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    emryldmyst You had me till your "high end life". YTA I hope your husband finds a better wife.
    via emryldmyst
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    CurlyCarrots22 You say in the edit that if something happened to your husband then you would be there for him. Something HAS happened to your husband. At 24 years old, his parents are de d and he has a huge responsibility on his shoulders to care and provide for his bereaved siblings. And you're leaving him to carry it all alone. You are absolutely shirking your marriage vows, all because you want a lavish lifestyle. It's not even like you didn't want children. It's just inconvenient for your li
    via CurlyCarrots22
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    Vadapaav84 I will go against the grain & say NTA. I have sympathies towards your husband for his losses and the impossible position he is in, but there are many women who are not prepared to be mothers or mother figures in their early 20s and there is nothing wrong in that. Also nothing wrong in being ambitious and knowing what you want out of your life. I wish you hadn't married so young but I am glad you realised what you really want and didn't keep your husband & those poor kids hanging. Also
    via Vadapaav84
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    Traditional_Bug_2046 This is such a tough situation. I'm glad you have empathy for him needing to do this for his family. It's a terrible position to be in. I hope he can understand your perspective too. You're absolutely right that you did not sign up for this, and it likely will upset your budget and your future plans, especially your plan to have your own children. You are also right that you're still young and can still have a chance at the kind of life you want. Sorry this happened to you b
    via Traditional_Bug_2046
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    montauk6 expensive foreign trips, my high end lifestyle and other things need money So much for "for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health..." Are YOU the AH....? Welp... if you have to ask.........
    via montauk6
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    Kaetrin YTA. Own it. Nobody is forcing you to stay but what you're doing is choosing your "high end lifestyle" over someone you say you love. Frankly your husband is probably better off without you if your love for him is so fragile. I absolutely get you didn't sign up for this. But.. would you divorce him if he'd gotten sick? If he'd become dis ed? Your husband lost both parents a couple months ago. He's going through the most difficult time and trying to step up for his siblings who are grievi
    via Kaetrin
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    mikesbabymomma81 YTA. You have no idea what a partner is. Your husband might not see it now, but losing you will be the best thing to ever happen to him.
    via mikesbabymomma81

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